The Latest Observations

1221

Dear America, Veterans Didn’t Do It For You…

Back in 2001, I was 22 years old with a two year old daughter that meant the world to me. Also in 2001, I was something called “Broke as all damn fuck.” You may have heard of it. Now, when I say broke, I mean so broke that my daughter ...

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1221

Why Carmelo Anthony will lead Knicks to East Finals. Stop laughing.

Think fast. How many playoff series have the Knicks won in saaaaaaaay, the last 15 years? If you said one, you’d be one brilliant fucker, because in the past 15 years, the sorry ass Knicks indeed have won only ONE punk ass playoff series. In 2013, the Knicks beat a Celtics ...

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1221

How Ryan Lochte & Crew got their White Privilege Express Card declined

So what do you do when you’re an Olympic athlete in Brazil, destroy a fucking gas station, get a gun pulled on you by a guard at that gas station, and then have your punk ass pockets ran? Well, if you’re white, you pull out your trusty White Privilege Express ...

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5

Why The Get Down is a brilliant take on the infancy of Hip Hop

I’ve been waiting for The Get Down to finally stream on Netflix for over a year now. And after sitting on my hands and salivating over the possibilities of a Baz Luhrmann period piece, my prayers were finally answered and the first part of the series in all its glory became available ...

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1221

Women Are Collateral Damage In Politics

Some of you are all in for Hillary Clinton. And some of you would rather see her on a toilet suffering from neverending doo doo lava. Regardless of your political feelings on Hillary, you have to admit that her being the first woman to be a presidential candidate of either ...

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1221

How sh*tting on Michael Jordan won’t make you any more “woke”

I grew up in the Michael Jordan-era. The way that kids idolized Kobe Bryant – the way they currently swing like Tarzan from Lebron’s balls – is the same way I feel about Michael Jordan when it comes to basketball. Make no mistake. When it comes to hoops, MJ will ...

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1221

The New Era of B*tchass Men

Just the other day, I was heading across the Chicago Loop like I always do after a long day of slaving away for corporate America’s punk ass. And like every day, I walk the 20 minutes it takes to get from my office building to the commuter train with absolutely ...

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1221

The Truth About Ciara & Future

I don’t intend on spending more than 500 words on this particular topic. In fact, it’s probably going to be the last time I waste any energy even addressing this bullshit. But for the sake of making sure this horse is dead as fuck– I’m going to give you my ...

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5

A History of NBA Super Teams and Basketball B*tchassness

I woke up this morning to some incredible sporting news.  And that is Kevin Durant has agreed to unscrew his dick and balls, place them in the nearest trash can, and sign to the Golden State Warriors. For those of you that aren’t huge basketball fans and don’t understand the ...

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5

A Tale of Two Hip Hops: Joe Budden vs Drake

Waaay back in 2009, Drake met with Joe Budden and immediately started swooning. There was no shame at all in Drake’s man-crushing of Joe Budden. If you listened to the interview from back then, you’d agree that you probably would have to surgically detach Joe’s balls from Drake’s mouth after that. ...

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1221

Why The World Is Afraid of Women of Color

Just the other day, I came across an article effortlessly entitled “The World’s Most Beautiful Women.” And being a man that appreciates pretty girls everywhere – I clicked it. I scrolled. And while the women of the piece were attractive in their own right, I can’t say that they were ...

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1221

Sundress Season Kills People

In my mental calendar, there are four distinct seasons here in Chicago: First, there’s “The Winter Before Winter” Season (Nov – Jan). Secondly, there’s “The REAL Winter For That Ass” Season (Jan – Mar). Then there’s “It’s Still Cold, But White People Are Starting To Wear Shorts Anyway” Season (Apr ...

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princeton

Musical Tributes To Dead Singers Are Corny As F*ck.

Ever since the Purple One passed away, speculation about who will sing what at Prince’s numerous eventual memorial tributes has been swirling like the salted stewing waters in a big ol’ pot of country ass neckbones. All kinds of names have been rattled off from Miguel to Patti LaBelle to ...

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nigga

The Joy of Voluntary Solitary Confinement

Social engagements are my kryptonite. And though at weddings and BBQs I can mingle and socialize with the best of ’em, whether it’s cracking hilarious jokes or creating engaging small talk about shit like who’s duty it is to sleep in the wetspot after sex, such activity is extremely draining ...

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1221

Recording of Zay’s Dope Ass Appearance on DPR Presents

Last night, I appeared as a special guest on DPR Presents – BlogTalk Radio to discuss my views and drop my jewels on topics relating to relationships and parenting. A lot of great information was shared and a lot of people tuned to hear the discussion. The show was streamed ...

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1221

Why Women Don’t Need To Be Validated By Men

I tweeted something that kinda jumped from the inner workings of my brain into my arms and out through my fingers as I usually do when I come to a dope ass epiphany. And what I said was, “We gotta stop makin’ women feel like they’re less because they don’t ...

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mothers

Mothers Are The Sh*t.

Mother’s Day is upon us. And just like every Mother’s Day, we file into Walgreen’s one-by-one to carefully mull over greeting card options while also trying to decide which flower basket to overspend on. The grand total will come $20.03 for a corny ass card and flowers that will dry ...

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5

Phenomenal Sex Is Exactly 27 Minutes Long

How long should sex last? That’s the question I posed to my friends recently on my social media accounts. Most of the answers I received were pretty reasonable. Answers like 30 minutes, 45 minutes, a hour. I can live with that. And more importantly, I can do that. Of course, there ...

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1221

The Day Prince Died Without Our Permission

This may be the realest thing I ever wrote…for the moment, but Prince is an icon that challenges and possibly supersedes the magical star power of even The Great Gloved One himself aka You Know Who. Maybe I’m just living…and dying, for that matter, in the moment. Maybe I feel ...

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1221

The Nefarious Plot To Keep You Paying For College…Even Though You Don’t Need To

The fight continues for free college education. The same fucking excuse is being used and beaten to a bloody pulp every single time for why it’s not possible. The claim is that there is no money to do it. Pardon me, but if you don’t know, allow me to be ...

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